Charity Football Match II

On Saturday 17th May 2008 the Henderson Warriors took to the field of play at Henderson Sports and Social to battle it out with the visiting opponents from the Midlands - the Leicester Foxes. With all money raised from the charity match going to St Francis Hospice.

A quality match played at a fantastic pace due to the rain, and an awesome feast for the spectators who sheltered underneath their umbrellas and match gazebo. Up to the last 15 minutes the two teams were at stale mate but with a flurry of goals at the end the match finished 6-3 to the Foxes. But like all charity matches the score line although important shadows in comparison to the fund raising total which for this event was an absolutely marvellous.

Henderson Warriors

Leicester Foxes

A huge Thank You to everyone involved in the day and who in some shape or form donated. It's all down to your support that events like this can be successful. A special mention for Dave Cullen and the Leicester contingent for travelling down on the day, and Moose Sikka for his superb effort in refereeing the match. Plus, thanks to the Warriors squad - cheers chaps.

So, on to the match report - After the previous weekend was such a scorcher it was thought we would have a repeat for our match, but alas no. Instead from the moment the whistle was blown to kick off the match to well after the presentation at the end the heavens did not close. Thankfully this did not hamper the spirits of both teams and supporters who soaked up not only the occasion and atmosphere but obviously the rain.

Prior to the match both teams lined up for the customary charity match photos, the Warriors in their traditional White and Blue and the Foxes in their very manly pink and black…. Not salmon, pink…. Very nice….

As the whistle blew to start this well anticipated match both teams and supporters were buzzing with enthusiasm, this was kind of dampened as at the same time the heavens decided to come to life and open up… and boy did they open up. The first 20 minutes seem to fly by as to be fair some excellent and fluent football was being played. Both teams were zipping it around the pitch despite the conditions, with the referee rarely blowing his whistle as the gamed flowed so nicely.

With the halfway stage of the first half approaching it was the Foxes who seemed to be that much quicker in their attack and looked the more dangerous, it was almost like they had adopted Delia Smith's Norwich tactic of utilising a twelfth man. Even though Henderson's very own Ricky Prior hit the post a double blow for the Warriors was round the corner, as in the space of five minutes they found them selves 2-0 down. The first came via Dave (Giggsy) Wozencroft and his well timed run that left the Warriors back line flatfooted looking for the offside, all four of them looking for the linesman flag in a way that would have made Tony Adams proud, but alas the flag never came. Giggsy then had ample time to slot it home for the Foxes opener.

The Foxes second minutes later came from a defence mishap in the Warriors back line. As the boys passed it among them selves looking to push the ball forward one pass went astray and was intercepted by a Fox, not literally mind as we all know Foxes are naturally nocturnal creatures. Anyway, back to the game. Once the Foxes picked up the ball they broke through the defensive line again at pace with Ryan Tuckwood taking over the role of goal scorer. Just to add more misery The Warriors Captain Danny Jacks pulled a hamstring making a tackle and so had to be replaced, leaving vice Captain Gareth Sparrowhawk to lead from the back.

A not very amused Warriors Gaffer had to make a change, his 4-5-1/4-3-3/ 4-1-4-1 formation was clearly confusing his team, so a more traditional 4-4-2 with obviously a diamond shape midfield was chosen. With an extra body upfront Henderson's started to turn the table some what on the Foxes adding more pressure to the awesome Foxes defence including Dan Malcolm who was having a blinder thus far. Henderson's pushed forward to get something before half time, Ricky Prior found himself again hitting the wood work and Jack Brennan with his illumining boots bedazzled down the left. Then a glimmer of hope, now it isn't too clear how the goal came about as the Match Reporter was actually chatting to two Warrior WAGS (Caroline and Sarah) taking shelter in the Gazebo, but I hear that Paul Klein's Warriors opener was a blinder - Paul give us a bell and tell us all about it…..

The half time whistle blew with the score line 2-1 to the Foxes; did the rain stop for some glorious team/pep talking, clearly not, the players did that. As soon at the line up for the start of the second half was announced the Warriors ran for cover or in some cases ran to the bar….. so professional….

With the relentless rain there wasn't much of a half time break. The game seemed to continue from where it left off, there was a fantastic pace to the game and it wasn't long before the scoring began again - First blood from the second half going to the Foxes. This time it was Scott Steverson who netted from a corner using all of this 6 foot plus frame to beat the Henderson's defence. But the Warriors were not finished there.

With the Leicester boys clearly looking to shut up shop and defend their lead they appeared to invite the home team to attack, and attack they did. Now, in last years charity match Lee Deputy-Dogg Slaney replaced the injured goalkeeper for the Warriors and proceeded to let in three goals, some might say quite easy goals, not me though, just some people. So when the players saw that Lee had taken up stock between the sticks for the Foxes a rye smile appeared on the Warriors faces, a smile that was soon wiped away. Lee made some awesome saves, one in particular from Ricky Prior pushing yet another of his shots onto the wood work. But alas he couldn't stop one of the joint CFM top goal scorers netting his third goal - Mr Martin Fox. This was Martin's second charity match and although he has had a barren football season he has never failed to score for CFM; his goal coming from a tackle he made on a Foxes defender that wrong footed Mr Slaney, it doesn't matter how they go in as long as they do. Hopefully this goal will spur Martin on for next season.

Martin's goal was soon followed by another and the Warrior's equaliser. Remember Maradonna's mazy run in the 1986 World cup against England, well that's what this goal would have looked like if any of the Foxes players had attempted to either tackle or even close Kris Kevan Graham down. Kris (now referred to as Moses) ran from pretty much the half way line unchallenged to slot home his goal with the Foxes defence parting like the red sea. With this goal Kris matches Martin's CFM 3 goal record along with Liam Kelly. One thing Kris's goal did do was incense Leicester Boss Cullen who entertained the crowds with some great visionary gestures - marvellous stuff.

With 15 minutes to go until full time and the dreaded penalty shootout both teams were still producing some cultured football although it was clear to see fatigue was starting to set in. As Cullen looked to make some more tactical substitutions, he called to the verruca king Carlos Gilbert to take a rest on the side lines, Carlos answered with 'one minute', he then got the ball, turned and scored from 35 plus yards taking Kris's crown of goal of the match. Carlos has been sidelined for much of the season with some major foot fungi - what way to come back.

Carlos's goal seemed to take the wind out of the Warriors sails. What didn't help and this isn't to take anything away from Gilberto's fantastic strike was that it has been said that Mason the Henderson's keeper was chatting to fellow team mate Rollsy as Carlos struck the ball, but I'm sure it's only a rumour…. Right Steven?

With the clock counting down and with legs beginning to feel like lead the Warriors had to push and it wasn't long before they were again punished, this time by the Foxes first team goal keeper of all players. To keep it in the Gilbert family Martyn, who had an awesome first half was now playing on the left wing, and after the Warriors were caught on the break he headed home when he found himself unmarked at the back post.

With 5 minutes to go the Warriors were 5-3 down and in certain areas looking tired and withdrawn. It had been a fast paced entertaining game and with the unfavourable weather conditions making it hard for the players; the Warriors gaffer conceded the game by placing himself and team Captain Danny upfront for the dieing minutes. They had been on the pitch no more than a minute or so when Jermaine Cunningham's powerful strike from open play effectively ended any chance the Warriors had.

Then more controversy right at the death, with a final Warriors attack it was deemed by top referee Moose that the Foxes gaffer handballed in his own area therefore warranting a penalty. Cullen's opposite number pointed at Paul Klein to finish the game in style although Mason had run the length of the pitch for a chance of glory. But his decision was overturned by the majority of the team, as it was a charity match they decided that the Warriors boss should have the honour, an honour reluctantly accepted. It was Sullivan vs Gilbert, and not of the Martyn variety as brother Carlos had taken up residence. After some brief mind games between goalie and striker the whistle sounded and Sullivan struck the ball - perfectly weighted with awesome power and with the keeper beaten everything about the shot said goal….. except the post - the woodwork had really been a bit a menace that day. Well at least Sullivan came closer than Terry in the Champion leagues final penalty shoot out. And with the ball coming off the post and back into play the referee blew for full time with the score 6-3 to the visiting Leicester Foxes.

As mentioned in this report the match proved both entertaining and fast, a real corker for the supporters. Both teams gave their all, for the Warriors another gutsy performance by Micky Shea and Gareth Sparrowhawk, although there were not a lot of trademark Sheasy turns, not Cruijff turns but Sheasy turns. Adam La Faci marshalled the back line magnificently although he may not think so as 6 goals were conceded. Along with everyone mentioned thus far there were other players who shone such as Liam Kelly, Gander, Rollsy, Rish and of course the majestic No 13 Chris Jacks who had to over come the fact that the Warriors didn't have a No 3 shirt. A special mention to Gareth who up to the 70th minute had played every minute of every CFM match - that's 250 minutes of charity football - well done sir.

As for the winners, well Cullen must have gone back to Leicester not only holding the Charity Cup but with a smile on his face as his team played a blinder. From the defence to attack not one player went missing through out the game. James Simms and Lewis Allen were excellent in their full back roles and characters such as Richard Gundelach, Scott Goodman and Dean Partner were immense in the midfield with Andrew Heath and Paul Maynard causing all kinds of trouble in attack. But the man who really stood out for the secret, or not so secret Man of the Match committee was Dan Malcolm who took the honour and most of the alcohol in the raffle. If anyone has been missed, apologies, there wasn't anyone who had a stinker….. maybe except for the last minute penalty taker.

After the match both teams and supporters enjoyed a fantastic buffet supplied by Henderson's very own darling Lynn while trying to enjoy a very subdued FA Cup final. As Sol Campbell lifted the FA Cup Cullen held the Charity Cup… great timing.

The CFM team would like to thank both teams, all the supporters and everyone who donated or bought raffle tickets. With regards to the raffle we would like to extend our apologies to anyone who could not hear the raffle ticket results, we did have people throughout the club relaying the ticket numbers but obviously some were missed. We would also like to thank our little raffle ticket seller type bloke Richard Kelly who although had to pull out of the actual game was still heavily involved in the day. The same goes to Chief WAG Joanne for drawing the raffle tickets while running around after CFM Mascot Bobby - very proud of you. Along with Henderson Sports and Social we would lastly like to thank Tony and Sylvie Sullivan for all their work during the day. Due to you all another CFM event has been a success - Thank you.

Henderson Warriors

The Henderson Warriors are primarily a merged team between the sides that battled it out in Project Bobby. The squad comes into this match with a 100% record having played one, won one, this could be the only chance to have that stat so they'll take it while they can.

CFM's man about town Danny Jacks will lead this fierce machine, beside him the only man to play every minute donning the Warriors shirt 'The Sparrowhawk' as Vice Captain. Awesome stuff!!!!

The Warriors go into this match perhaps seen as the under dogs, if that's the case let them be Hounds as come May Fox hunting season will well an truely be open.

Team Colours
White & Blue

The Squad

Profiles by G Sparrowhawk/D Jacks

1) Steve Mason - The CFM team have convinced Steve 'Flapper' Mason to come out of retirement for this Charity Match. This fiery tiger lover is an animal between the sticks, as he is between the sheets… Well that's what Steve reckons anyway……

2) Rishi Sikka - One of the teams baby face assassins, but dont be put off by his baby boy looks, after a few sambuccas his dance moves would put John Travolta to shame. On the field he is strong in the tackle and has a magical right foot. Foxes beware of this young jedi knight, the force is strong with this one.

4) Gareth Sparrowhawk - The rock of the squad, not for strength or presence because of his size! A mix and match type of player. You may get a great game or a tragic game but the one thing he does bring is the desire to win and a very evil yet funny sense of humour. Team Vice Captain

5) Adam La Faci - The man they call ALF, an unknown quantity to most but a brief insight into his footballing psyche is that he loves tigers, that means a predatory instinct and ferocious tenacity in his tackle, both of them. The brains at the back.

6) Tom Rolls - Wes brown of Henderson Warriors, is his hair blonde or ginger? Central midfielder who has great skill and composure, if he remembers how to use it. Not known for his bite in a tackle but does have the ability to bore the opposition into giving him the ball.

7) Micky Shea - Project Bobby's man of the match beating the Warriors rightful winner No 4 Gareth Sparrowhawk to the trophy. Micky brings to the pitch the grace of a swan, and to the ref the gob of a drunken football yob. Don't let that put you off… he is a Chelsea fan, let that put you off but no, he wins you over again with his delightful array of Cryuff turns in any area of the pitch. You have to love this man.

8) Stuart Gander - Goosey Gander, this guy oozes quality from every pore and his lady, Jack and all the other girls lap this up. Can play in the centre of the park or up front what you will get from him is 110% and a lot of adoring fans in the stands.

9) Liam Kelly - Lightning Kelly, there are thousands of words to describe Liam Kelly, some have titled him the most talented Kelly in the family….On the football pitch one word that concretes them all 'PHENOMINAL'.

10) Paul Klein - Only Kleiny can rival Gander in most departments but this hunk of a man is adored by many a lonely housewife, and has broken more hearts of fathers daughters than chuck Norris has broken spines! A central midfielder with more bite than jaws, more strength than Geoff Capes after 3 weetabix. He is the spark in the engine the fuse in your plug. This man runs a tight ship.

11) Jack Brennan - God went to bless him with all the things he granted to Chris Jacks but unfortunately he broke that mould so he gave Jack the best thing he could come up with… impish height and audacity, a warm smile, low centre of gravity and a great, not sweet! left foot. His license to roam for this charity match has been granted - One to watch.

12) Martin Fox - The human gazelle fuelled on energy drinks, loves to run, a perfect specimen of a man who's shot to goal ratio is worse than Liberia's deficit. Regardless of that fact he will bag you goals or terrorise your defence.

13) Chris Jacks - God blessed him with charm, style, panache and a left foot so sweet the gods broke the mould. A menace on & off the pitch and some would say perhaps the better looking of the Jacks brothers - who knows, you decide.

14) Kris Graham - If you combined Maradonna, Messi and Ronaldo in a human genetic gene spliting accident you still wouldn't get Kris Graham. What you have here is a man with only a few things on his mind - Flair, Flamboyance, Class and the constant wonderment of what his girlfriend is going to say about him. He is a man on the field with iron hardened morals and a wrought iron grip on all that is good and fair in the game.

15) Ricky Prior - The human energiser bunny, he will run all day for you. Ricky is an unsung hero in the ranks of Henderson's and always gives you his all. You know the saying 'Its always the quiet ones,' well Ricky epitomises this on and off the pitch. Mental note: If his Dad (The Awesome Gary Prior) is on the side lines, get his permission first before slagging Ricky off - Another one to watch.

16) Danny Jacks - If you get caught behind enemy lines, Danny Jacks "the Lionheart" as some call him is the guy they send in to get you out! He makes every last ditch tackle, puts his head where others wouldn't and will use any part of his body for the team. A modern day Terry Butcher with the appetite of Ron Jeremy. Team Captain

17) Rob Sullivan - The iron in your ship, the concrete in your foundations, the bricks in your wall, the lead in your pencil. Rob also known as Beef is the nucleus and brain child of CFM and brings everything you could ask of him on and off the pitch. He can lend himself to the defence and also between the sticks. As he's coming back from yet another injury, if he does make a cameo appearance stand back and listen to the clapping of players and fans as he enters the field of play.

Out Through Injury

Richard Kelly - Known as 'Monkey boy' to many and the wearer of some "unusual" underwear. Mr Glass Ankle is Mr Utility. He has played and succeeded in pretty much any position he has played in on the field. Goal Keeper is still a hanging question mark. He could be Anton Siberski as neither have been spotted together. Always reliable in dangerous situations

Leicester Foxes

The Leicester Foxes team, managed by CFM member Dave Cullen was put together with the sole purpose of being able to compete against the formidable Warriors side. A side that is mostly made up of players from the mighty Real Muxloe FC, Dave's Sunday side, or local lads who happen to be in the pub when I was talking about putting the team together.

Many of the team are friends of or know some of the Henderson's players so there was definately plenty of gamesmanship as well as high tackles flying in. Only kidding, except for the Malc that is, cause that's just how he tackles.

When arranging the team I sat down and flicked through my phonebook entries to see who I thought worthy of the squad and who would actually be able to get permission from there girlfriends to travel to Essex in the first place. And so the Foxes were formed. A blend of youth, flair and flatulence along with a great team spirit mean we hopefully should give the warriors a good game and make things even more interesting for the fans in the stands.

Team Colours
Is it pink? Is it Salmon? Who can say?

The Squad

Profiles by D Cullen

1) Martyn Gilbert - AKA The Kid. Fancies himself as a young Ika Cassilas or just fancies himself. Either way the younger of the two Gilbert brothers has a level of agility that cats aspire to, put that with his calm and cool persona and you get a shot stopping machine with a funky hair cut.

2) James Simms - Although he has never really found his natural position Simmsy is a great addition to any team. His ability to play numerous roles and give some good tips on the horse racing makes him an integral part of the squad. Simmsy's only downfall is his love of alcohol and loose women. but mainly alcohol.

3) Lewis Allen - Every team usually has one random player with some left foot ability. Lewy Al is ours. He is a legend on and off the pitch and can usually be found reaching for the lasers til the early hours of the morning. A fans favorite keep your eyes fixed on Lewy and you will see some sheer class.

4) Ryan 'Tucky' Tuckwood - What can you say about Tucky? The ladies love him, and the men love his girlfriend. Tucky is the Gary Neville of the Foxes, always a solid 8 out of 10 performance but don't mess up his hair or you'll make him angry, and you dont want to see him angry.

5) Lee Slaney - Aka The Dog. Lee is another player who made an unscripted appearance in last year's game. Slaney moved to London to pursue a career in the music industry, thus his fitness has suffered and we only expect him to last 7 minutes. His contribution to last year's game was to be yellow carded 5 seconds after coming on. Typical Slane Dog he's all about entertaining the crowd.

6) Danny Malcolm - The Malc or Sweat monster as he can be known is a legend. With the worlds largest collection of horny housewife DVD's Dan is always a popular member of the squad. Lock up your daughters, and your wives and grandmothers for that matter. The Malc is a wolf in sheep's clothing, his calm and friendly exterior hide his rasping left foot, if his knee doesn't give way that is.

7) Dean Partner - The David Beckham of the Foxes squad, keep your eye on Deano. Permatanned and ready for action Dean is a quality centre midfielder with flair and panache. His footballing antics are only matched by his drinking antics.

8) Dave Cullen - Steven Gerrard, Kaka, Zidane, think of these world class players and then think the complete opposite, that's Cullj. The manager and Captain of the Foxes makes up for talent by oozing enthusiasm. Another member of the CFM team, watch out for his aerial ability though as he's a danger from any set piece at 6ft 4.

9) Carlos Gilberto - Aka Tron. One of the heroes of project Bobby, scoring from a trademark corner last year. Carlos loves to play, especially with young girls. The Manager of Buttylicious has been out with a horrific injury for some time but don't ask him to show you his wound. Another one to watch, when Tron is on his game he is unstoppable, Warriors beware.

10) Dave Wozencroft - AKA Giggsy, don't call me David!! Giggsy brings the ronaldo element to any squad but without the phenomenal pace. Quick feet and a very expensive pair of boots make him a danger to opposition defences, Giggs always likes to at least look the part.

11) Richard Gundelach - Aka Gunders. The ringer of the foxes team if he wasn't always injured. This silky winger can cause absolute mayhem down the wings. His deceptive height makes it look like he's far away and then he's past you in an instance. A fans favorite but watch out for him doing his salmon impression in the box.

12) Jermaine Cunningham - Jermaine Comes in as a last minute replacement for Chris McCathie and Sam Saunt.

13) Chris Pitts - Legendary defender The Pitts is the veteran of the foxes squad and definitely talks a good game. He used to be known as the man who gained the most amount of weight in the shortest space of time but Chris is determined to imply his new fitness and enthusiasm to the foxes game. Chris is also assistant coach to the Foxes because he knows everything,

14) Scott Goodman - Aka Jimmy Bullard. Scott is a very versatile player who has made every position his own. Claims to be a centre midfielder but his true position is right back. Scott is a shy player who can be cool and calm on the ball and watch out for his quality technique.

15) Paul Maynard - this guy loves wearing black and looks good in it too, the man they call nard with his dazzling pace and devilishly handsome (Gigi Buffon) good looks you could call him a stud, but instead we call him Nard, one thing to watch is that he runs like a T-rex on the hunt - CFM Welcomes this awesome man into the match……